A Mother's Heritage: Inspiring People

After I had my son in September my sister-in-law gave me a gift. She gave me a journal titled A Mother’s Heritage, A Loving Keepsake For Your Children by Ellie Claire. This is different from your every day journal in that instead of an empty canvas for you to free write, it has the topics and questions laid out for you. I like it because it prompts you to share insight to who you are that you may have never shown otherwise. Most of these questions are dealing with topics that, unless my children actually asked, I don’t think I would have jumped up and shared. Instead of writing them in the book, I decided it would be easier to do a blog post for each.

Children who mature into stable young adults almost always have had a caring adult figure who has been a positive model in their life. – Doug Fields

This week’s journal question was … A love one who inspired me … My heroes are …

Growing up loved ones who inspired me were both of my grandmothers. I was always admiring how they both worked so hard for their families and always seemed to be able to provide everything for everyone who was in need. It encourages me to think of how resourceful they were. They both came from a place and time when it was common place to make your own clothes, grow your own food and create your own forms of entertainment which didn’t involve a computer or television.

My heroes are … I had to think about this one for a while because I can’t recall having any heroes growing up. Not that I didn’t have any, or that there were any influential people in my life because there were many. I just can’t remember any right now. How today I have many heroes, mostly the strong ministry leaders and pastors in my church.

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And the Cycle Continues

I must start this post off my apologizing if the topic I am about to share is to sensitive for you. While some may clasify this as TMI (Too Much Information), I feel that some things are better to be shared the be kept quite.

I must give much thanks and appreciation to the many other mother’s out there that were willing to share their personal experiences just like this. It was because of their posts, forums and comments why I made it through my first pregnancy.

With that being said I wanted to share with you that after eighteen long months of peace and and freedom … my dear ‘friend’ has returned to my life. While I so enjoyed these past un-interupted months, I must admit that I did miss its every 28-30 day visit.

I went through a mixture of emotions within the first few minutes that I discovered its return. It began with shocked. Although my son is just over 9 months for some reason I just wasn’t expecting it to happen yet. From what I have been told by my doula and lactation specialist fully breastfeeding a child does help in delaying or slowing down the return of ovulation, but of course each women is different so there is no real way to predict when it will happen.

My next emotion was sad. I was sad that I now had to re-learn the life that is sanitary napkins, tampons and cramps. While it had been 18 months ago, I did remember that this wasn’t my most favorite time of the month. While this time isn’t a huge inconvience, it was one less thing to have to plan and think about each month.

Following sad was relief. It was the welcome return of a system that God designed and serves an amazing purpose. The power and ability that we have to as humans to come together and produce another human being is phenomenal and just beyond truly comprehending. While many women can tell you their stories of being able to have a child without a regular cycle (IVF, Implantation, etc.) when you are blessed with a normal cycle you should be relieved and appreciate the gift.

And finally my last emotion was worry. I worried because not only am I now physically ready to carry another child, it truly isn’t it my families plan yet. But it now going to be on my mind and in my thoughts every month. Each month I am going to get a little tingle in my stomach considering the possibility that I just may be pregnant again. And conversely when I discover I am in fact not pregnant, I am going to have a day or two of walking around being slightly disappointed. Weird I know, but I am almost certain that many other women are doing the same exact dance everyone month also. We don’t necessary want to be pregnant just yet but the excitement of the moment just can’t be resisted.

Well I just wanted to share my moment with you and see how you all handled the return of your long lost friend.

Co-Sleeping: Limited Edition

This post is part of the 2010 API Principles of Parenting blog carnival, a series of monthly parenting blog carnivals, hosted by API Speaks. Learn more about attachment parenting by visiting the API website.

So I used to think our family was a anti-cosleeping group. but now that I have begun to read more into it, it seems we have been co sleepers all along.

Many terms related to infant sleep are used interchangeably, which can create confusion. API uses the following definitions:

Co-sleepingrefers to sleeping in “close proximity,” which means the child is on a separate sleep surface in the same room as the parents. This includes the use of a cosleeping bassinet or “sidecar,” which is a crib-like bed with only three walls, with the fourth side remaining open and pushed up against the parents’ bed. For the older child, this can include sleeping in a separate bed in the same room as the parents, or two or more older siblings sleeping together in a separate room.

Bed-sharing, also called the “family bed,” describes a sleep arrangement where the family members sleep on the same sleep surface. This practice is recommended for only for breastfeeding families using API’s Safe Sleep Guidelines.

My family believed that co-sleeping and family bed were the same thing. We once talked about it and said that we did not feel that having a family bed would be the best situation for our family. However, according to the Attachment Parenting International, we were co-sleeping for the first five months of his life and since then have been occasionally sharing a family bed.

When our son was born, we actually had no choice but to co-sleep. At that time we were living with my parents and only had one room for my husband, myself and our newborn son. We had his pack n’ play set up next to our bed and that is where he slept day and night.

No however that we have our own place to call home, our son has his own room. Where he does spend 90% of his night sleep time. But occasionally, mommy will be super tired at night … too tired to saw awake to feed him. So what ends up happening is I pick him up and bring to our bed to lay next to me as I sleep and he breastfeeds. It doesn’t happen to often.

Other than that I am happy to say that my son is quite happy and content with his own spacious room and knows if he ever needs to he can come spend the night with mommy and daddy in their bed.

Mommy Time!

I have read several post by other mothers on how important it is to set aside some time each week alone. A time to rejuvenate your senses, relax and focus on our own needs for once. As mothers we are by nature and design consumed with the needs, desires and cares for our husbands and children. By God’s perfect design we are conditioned to be sensitive and open to the feelings of our family and become selfless toward them. While we may enjoy this role as wife and mother we were never meant to forget ourselves. We are still beautiful creatures, our value to the world and to God is immeasurable. If He thinks of us that way we really have to acknowledge our value and take care of ourselves likewise.

Over the past few months, since my family relocated and I began working full time again, I realized that I was becoming increasingly more tired, agitated and short with my family. I wasn’t enjoying caring for nurturing my family in the way that I knew I wanted to. I was becoming drained and felt very lost at times. My actions were becoming routine and I didn’t do much for myself and my own personal growth. I have many goals set for myself this year including writing an eBook and designing a planner/organizer for mothers both of which are not where I would like them to be. The year is pretty much half over and I haven’t made time to focus on those projects as much as I would have liked.

One day I woke up and realized that I can not continue to be a supportive helpmate for my husband or a strong leader and example for my son if I didn’t start taking time for myself regularly. I knew it didn’t have to be a long extensive time away, just enough to rejuvenate my senses and concentrate on my own personal agenda.

I wanted to do something that wouldn’t take me too far away in case of ’emergency’ but far enough to where I wasn’t being disturbed. The perfect solution for me … Starbucks. There is a nice quiet Starbucks that is in walking distance from my home, just under a quarter mile that opens at six a.m. I find that I am the most focused and productive early in the morning so I head out Saturday morning after my son wakes up for the morning and gets his early morning feeding. I gather all my material the night before and set it at the door so I can head out quietly and quickly. All I need is nice two hour stretch and I leave feeling so refreshed and accomplished.

A Mother's Heritage: Holding my Child

After I had my son in September my sister-in-law gave me a gift. She gave me a journal titled A Mother’s Heritage, A Loving Keepsake For Your Children by Ellie Claire. This is different from your every day journal in that instead of an empty canvas for you to free write, it has the topics and questions laid out for you. I like it because it prompts you to share insight to who you are that you may have never shown otherwise. Most of these questions are dealing with topics that, unless my children actually asked, I don’t think I would have jumped up and shared. Instead of writing them in the book, I decided it would be easier to do a blog post for each.

I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. – Ephesians 1:16-17 (NLT)

This week’s journal questions is … Holding my child for the first time I felt … and The prayers I have for my children …

The first time I held my child was right after I gave birth. While still attached with the umbilical cord he was placed on my bare stomach and chest for about ten to fifteen minutes. Most of that time was a blur to me. Everyone was still all excited and in enjoying the moment that he entered the world. And me personally I was mostly in shock. I partially was still in denial about the whole situation of being pregnant and having a child so when I actually laid eyes on him and felt his skin I was in shock, excitement and slightly disbelief. It wasn’t until a few hours later when I held him and fed him again that it really settled in and became truth for me. That was when I first realized that I was capable of loving another person more than myself. I have loved and continue to love and honor my husband and put his needs and desires before mine … but the love for my son is totally different.

I have so many prayers for my son. I mentioned in a previous post about a great book The Power of A Praying Parent. That book has really helped me pray some focused and direct prayers for my son ranging from health, salvation, happiness, growth, relationships, education. I know he is only nine months old now but the is no harm in starting the prayers early.

A Mother's Heritage: Experiencing Motherhood

After I had my son in September my sister-in-law gave me a gift. She gave me a journal titled A Mother’s Heritage, A Loving Keepsake For Your Children by Ellie Claire. This is different from your every day journal in that instead of an empty canvas for you to free write, it has the topics and questions laid out for you. I like it because it prompts you to share insight to who you are that you may have never shown otherwise. Most of these questions are dealing with topics that, unless my children actually asked, I don’t think I would have jumped up and shared. Instead of writing them in the book, I decided it would be easier to do a blog post for each.

Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body – Elizabeth Stone

This week’s questions are … Experiencing motherhood for the first time. And When I was pregnant I’ll never forget …

Dear precious son of mine,

I consider my first experience with motherhood to be a few hours after you were born. Right after you entered this world and we met face to face, we spent a few moment together. You laid on my chest and we got to know each other and feel each other warmth. You then spent about an hour with your daddy getting all checked out by him and he took you to met some of your other family members and friends. Meanwhile, I was getting cleaned up and taken care of getting ready for our big moment. You were finally brought back to me and we had our first real bond moment together. This was the first time that we attempted to breastfeed. At that time I really didn’t think it went all the successful but looking at it now I realized just how much we accomplished that night. It was in that moment that I first felt like a mother and experienced motherhood. I realized then just how important we were to each other and how much we were going to forever need each other.

When I was pregnant I will never forget the first time that I heard your heart beat. You were only inside my tummy for nine weeks when we went for our first ultrasound. You were already pretty busy in there and moving and a lot. We saw your little body wiggling around and being just as curious as you are today. Then the ultra sound tech turned on the monitor and we heard our tiny heart beating at a super quick one hundred and sixty beats a minute. That was the first time I really believed that there in fact was truly another life growing inside of me. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

Seconds Anyone

I know just how inquisitive family and friends can be … especially in matters of family expansion so I am not surprised that we are already being asked about when our second child will be expected. My son is just eight months old but it we have people already questioning and planning out our next child and when we should have them.

When we first found out that were in fact truly expecting a child we naturally started our family planning. We decided then that if it was up to us we wanted to wait at least three years before planning for our next child. We like to space them out just a little to provide each child with some focused personal time. We realized just how important these first few years can be in a persons development and want to be able to focus our attention on child before needing to turn and address another child.

That is still how we feel and what we plan for our family but we fully understand the power of God and how His will always prevails. Just like the first child we are doing nothing to prevent or cause a pregnancy. We konw God’s timing is perfect, not matter if we agree or not, it always works out.

So that is my answer to any and everyone that asks … ‘It’s all up to God.’

Oh and by the way … when it does happen … we would love a little girl.