I must start this post off my apologizing if the topic I am about to share is to sensitive for you. While some may clasify this as TMI (Too Much Information), I feel that some things are better to be shared the be kept quite.
I must give much thanks and appreciation to the many other mother’s out there that were willing to share their personal experiences just like this. It was because of their posts, forums and comments why I made it through my first pregnancy.
With that being said I wanted to share with you that after eighteen long months of peace and and freedom … my dear ‘friend’ has returned to my life. While I so enjoyed these past un-interupted months, I must admit that I did miss its every 28-30 day visit.
I went through a mixture of emotions within the first few minutes that I discovered its return. It began with shocked. Although my son is just over 9 months for some reason I just wasn’t expecting it to happen yet. From what I have been told by my doula and lactation specialist fully breastfeeding a child does help in delaying or slowing down the return of ovulation, but of course each women is different so there is no real way to predict when it will happen.
My next emotion was sad. I was sad that I now had to re-learn the life that is sanitary napkins, tampons and cramps. While it had been 18 months ago, I did remember that this wasn’t my most favorite time of the month. While this time isn’t a huge inconvience, it was one less thing to have to plan and think about each month.
Following sad was relief. It was the welcome return of a system that God designed and serves an amazing purpose. The power and ability that we have to as humans to come together and produce another human being is phenomenal and just beyond truly comprehending. While many women can tell you their stories of being able to have a child without a regular cycle (IVF, Implantation, etc.) when you are blessed with a normal cycle you should be relieved and appreciate the gift.
And finally my last emotion was worry. I worried because not only am I now physically ready to carry another child, it truly isn’t it my families plan yet. But it now going to be on my mind and in my thoughts every month. Each month I am going to get a little tingle in my stomach considering the possibility that I just may be pregnant again. And conversely when I discover I am in fact not pregnant, I am going to have a day or two of walking around being slightly disappointed. Weird I know, but I am almost certain that many other women are doing the same exact dance everyone month also. We don’t necessary want to be pregnant just yet but the excitement of the moment just can’t be resisted.
Well I just wanted to share my moment with you and see how you all handled the return of your long lost friend.