What Do You Need My Son?

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing letters to ask our readers for help with a current parenting issue. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Dear experienced, trained and confident mother,

I love my son more then I could have ever imaged. It has been such an amazing journey bringing him into this world and watching him grow and learn. I am grateful beyond limits at how he is such an amazingly calm, sweet and pleasant baby. Since the day he was born he was never an overly fussy, dramatic baby. He was just laid back, rolled with the punches, charming boy.

Well he turned six months early this April and something happened. I am not sure if he hit his head somewhere or ate something other then my breast milk but something has started to change in him.

He is beginning to have a personality, his own desires, needs and demands. He is no longer content to play with his own toys on his own terms. He must, he insist on having what ever it is that mommy is playing with. My food always seems to entice him and daddy can’t do anything with little mans approval.

I have never seen such a tiny little face turn so many different colors and textures over a remote control. ‘Honey, this isn’t for eating’ … oh how wrong those words truly are. ‘Baby boy, if you roll that way you will fall.’ … really what made me think that would influence his decision. ‘Sweetie, you are rubbing your eyes and can barely hold your head up any more, it’s time for bed.’ … and repeat this same sentence in about an hour or so because he still insist that he doesn’t want to sleep.

And then there are those moments recently when I just have absolutely no clue what is bothering him. He just start screaming crying for what seems to be no reason and all and I can’t seem to sooth him. He isn’t hungry, just fed him. He isn’t tired, just woke up from a long nap. He isn’t wet, just changed him. He can’t be bored, he has like 5 toy’s around him. What is it son, what do you need from me? Let me help you, just give me a sign. I miss the days when he spoke the Dunstan Language and I could understand his needs from his cries. Now he just screams.

Yup, that about sums it up.

How did this happen and how do I make it stop?

I am not ready for so much emotions, character, personality and moods. How do I create a bubble world where he stays four months old forever?

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by the end of the day April 13 with all the carnival links.)

14 comments on “What Do You Need My Son?

  1. I have two words for you: sign language! If you are seeing a glimpse of what is to come, you will be thanking your lucky stars if your son has signs to tell you exactly what he wants. I am convinced that signing saved us from innumerable meltdowns. We started with common words/desires: mama, papa, mama milk, cracker. We added from there. Kieran knew probably 150-200 signs at one point before he got so verbal – it was amazing being able to communicate with a baby who had yet to say more than mamamamamama! Stay patient mama – this too shall pass.
    .-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..How We Came to Unschooling =-.

  2. Thomasin says:

    I agree with Dionna– I think sign language made a HUGE difference in our household. And your son is exactly the age to start signing! We started with ‘milk’ (for nursing) and I was surprised how quickly she picked it up. We then added ‘diaper,’ ‘sleep/bed’, ‘light,’ ‘more,’ ‘eat,’ ‘help,’ ‘dog,’ ‘bird,’ ‘fish’ and use them daily (even now that she can say some of the words aloud). Not saying that we’re magical or perfect communicators, but I imagine how frustrating it would be to have thoughts about what I want/need and be unable to express that other than a wail/scream, and it’d be very frustrating! The signs really do help aleiviate some of that frustration. Plus: it’s adorable to watch your baby sign to you!

    Good luck, and I hope you and your son work out a system that works for you. 🙂 It’s amazing to see them grow. Leaps and bounds. Crazy fast.

  3. Cave Mother says:

    Maybe he just wants you? Maybe he’s been fairly easy going so far, but now he’s getting better at figuring out what it is he wants and he’s becoming determined to get it! My daughter was never happy to sit on her own and play with toys – she wanted to be held all the time. That is why I started using a sling, and part of the reason why I came to attachent parenting.

    Could he just want holding so he can watch what’s going on? From six months my LO loved sitting in a Bumbo on the kitchen worksurface, just watching whatever I was up to.
    .-= Cave Mother´s last blog ..When To Wait to Nurse =-.

  4. I have to say I’m feeling sooo unsympathetic, because we had that kind of baby right from the very beginning. 🙂 All I can tell you from my experience is — it gets better. And I think there’s a certain spark that comes only from those who are overly dramatic and emotional, don’t you think? I sure hope so, at least!

    I do second (third) the sign language recommendation. It was such a kick to get a window into our preverbal baby’s head!
    .-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting advice =-.

  5. Earth Mama says:

    Oh I do sympathise!! However, I really think it is a phase and will probably be a short one:-)

    Maybe carry him in a sling a bit more – or all the time, diffuse some chamomile essential oils in the house and perhaps try a little regular baby massage with some lavender oil. Also, during my first year as a mama I found this book to be quite useful “The Wonder Weeks” by Hetty Vanderijt and Frans Plooij.

    …and for your own sanity, when you feel your nerves really beginning to fray, try 5 drops of Motherwort Herb Tincture diluted in a little water. I do this and it is immediately calming – a herb just for mamas, thus the name ‘motherwort’!!

    Blessings!
    .-= Earth Mama´s last blog ..Blog Carnival of Natural Parenting =-.

  6. Tashmica says:

    I remember the moment the Dr. placed my first born in my arms. It was like my eyes were opened. Oh crap. I gave birth to a live person. This is not a robot that will obey commands. This is a creature of will. Everyday my children have walked farther into the direction of their own will. I have times when I am frustrated with it but mostly I am amazed at my children’s independence. I say celebrate your little rebel (with boundaries of course). Welcome to parenting for real:)
    .-= Tashmica´s last blog ..A Dirty Girl Comes Clean =-.

  7. I often miss my newborn blob too. The inability to move is underrated. But it’s probably just a phase – the first of many! I found babywearing helped a lot around 6 months. I never did use sign language – although it sounds amazing ;o) But my little one always had a really awful time with teething – it could be that too – or he might just be going through separation anxiety. Don’t worry my daughter wouldn’t give her Dad the time of day for ages and now she gets excited whenever she hears a car outside.
    .-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..The Real Toddler =-.

  8. LOL I can totally understand your post. DS2 is now 6.5mo old and omgosh if he doesn’t get to eat our iPhones or the remote or chew on daddy’s nose, then there is hell to pay!

    I love the other responses you’ve gotten about baby sign language, that could be a great help (for me too!).
    .-= Sarah @ OneStarryNight´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: At the Chicago Botanic Garden =-.

  9. Joni Rae says:

    Sign language is a GREAT idea.

    Also? He might just be a needy snuggly kid. My 1st ds had to be held/next to me most of the time. He wasn’t hungry/dirty/bored/etc he just wanted my attention. It was hard at the time, but when he turned three he became the most easy going pleasant little person. 🙂
    .-= Joni Rae´s last blog ..Wordless Witchy Wednesday: After my babies grow up… =-.

  10. Arwyn says:

    “How do I create a bubble world where he stays four months old forever?”

    Dude, if you figure that out, let me know!

    How do deal with the fact that we can’t, as of yet, actually (or ethically) do that, I second the recommendations of sign language (although the Boychick didn’t start using signs until closer to a year, but some do as early as 7months or so), and, if you’re not already, more babywearing. I remember at that age that a change of scenery would help with the unknown screaming fits, so I would often toss him on my back in the wrap and go for a walk.

    And of course, by the time you get the hang of this phase, he’ll move on to another…

    Parenting. Why did we sign up for this gig? (Other than that we love them completely and wouldn’t trade them for the world, I mean.)
    .-= Arwyn´s last blog ..Where is the mutually agreeable solution? — When parenting calls for blood draws =-.

  11. the Grumbles says:

    Oh, I’m the opposite! I hated lumpy-blobbo phase. As soon as our son (seven months now) was showing signs of intelligent life in there I was thrilled! I love the experimentation and exploration. Like mom, what happens if I roll over here? and what does that taste like? I truly view it as watching him blossom before my eyes. You can see their little brains ticking away it just blows my mind. We have also been doing baby sign language and I think that has helped. He doesn’t sign yet but clearly responds to my hand motions and requests.
    .-= the Grumbles´s last blog ..the grumbles primer on pumping at work (part three, the final chapter) =-.

  12. I remember those times! Are you wearing him? Extra snuggles in the baby carrier could help. I think it could also be a phase.

  13. Lindsay says:

    What everyone has already said, plus, he might be/is likely teething. Even if you can’t see anything, he’s probably feeling those sharp little chompers pushing up and it HURTS. Try some camilia…

    And Arwen – you would have to pay me a million dollars to keep my little guy as a four month old. That time was SO HARD for us – nursing was hard, he cried all the time, I was on an elimination diet, he slept in 45 min. increments… oh, the memories 😉

  14. CurlyMonkey says:

    My son is now 15 mos and every day he reminds me that he’s not this little poupon he used to be! He’s like a little man already and it is hard some days but at the same time it is great to see him develop his own personality. I still carry him a lot in a baby wrap, specially when he’s cranky or upset at something…
    .-= CurlyMonkey´s last blog ..Earth Day Giveaway =-.

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